Bill Page is typically Mr. Fix-it.
You’ve got a problem to solve, he’s your man. It’s what he does. It’s who he is.
But not the day last April when he learned his wife Denise had breast cancer.
“When I looked at her, there was a sense of helplessness because I knew I couldn’t fix this no matter how hard I tried,” Bill says. “After the initial punch in the gut, I wanted to heal her. But there was nothing I could do. The only thing I could do is hold her. And I said a quick prayer. I asked God to help me help her.”
So began a lengthy journey that has already had its share of ups and downs.
Denise, 57, director of quality and compliance at St. Elizabeth Physicians, is midway through a series of chemotherapy treatments that are scheduled for another eight weeks.
Four weeks after that, she is expected to have a bilateral mastectomy and hysterectomy. After recovery from that, Denise will undergo reconstruction.
It will be at least a six-month process. From now. That’s if everything goes well.
Bill, financial counselor analyst at St. Elizabeth Physicians, and Denise are people of great faith. Bill is pastor at CrossPoint Church in Walton, Ky.
“I pray several times a day, thanking God for the day He’s given me with her,” Bill says.
“There are a lot of things you never think about until something like this happens. People say, ‘I don’t know what I’d do without that person.’ Well “”
He pauses. He fights back tears. When he starts again, Bill is choked up.
“I just love her no matter what and let her know that every day,” he says. “I love her for who she is. She’s God’s gift to me. No other woman can make me feel the way she does. I just try to make sure she knows that.”
We are talking to Bill because we are searching for a spouse’s point of view when it comes to cancer. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Bill is aware, all right. Denise has lost her hair. She has lost her voice. She’s had some skin issues.
So, we ask, what do you do for your wife? It’s not a neat and tidy list. Nothing about cancer is neat and tidy. But here is what Bill talks about:
- Be encouraging through the process, supporting whatever decisions your spouse makes.
- Be there. Attend doctor appointments with your spouse, especially when they are getting test results. “Our wives support us in so many ways, we should definitely be there for them in one of the scariest moments of their lives,” Bill says. “Go if you are able.”
- Stay positive. Always.
- Only be around people who are positive. Always. The Pages even stopped watching news on TV or shows and movies that are filled with negativity.
- Don’t live in isolation. Surround yourself with friends and family who support a positive environment. Let them help. And don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- Pick up new roles at home ““ whether that means cooking or cleaning or something else ““ and don’t sweat it if something doesn’t get done. “Because it doesn’t really matter,” Bill says.
- Expect tough times, and don’t get down. Know this is not going to be a smooth ride.
- Have faith. Pray. “If it wasn’t for that, for us, I don’t know how we would get through it,” Bill says.
- Suck it up for the day. “Whatever I have going on is probably not one-hundredth of what she’s going through,” Bill says.
“I just try to do as much as I can without enabling her to get weaker,” Bill says. “She has to stay active.”
