What disease came to mind when you read the title of this article? I bet it wasn’t loneliness.
It may surprise you to know that loneliness is more common than the “common cold,” and the number of lonely people in the United States is on the rise.
All human beings are lonely at one time or another. However, loneliness becomes a concern when it negatively affects an aspect of health (mind, body, spirit) and quality of life.
Why are we feeling lonelier?
The “village” lifestyle we used to live is rare today. Americans aren’t living near family and long-time friends who check in or notice when they are struggling.
As our population ages, more people are living longer ““ good thing ““ but they’re also living alone. Age-related isolation is growing and impacting more people. But it isn’t just older people impacted ““ loneliness isn’t biased. People in their adolescence and their first semester of college can experience some of the loneliest times of their life.
Our social media cluster can provide emotional connection, but we’re still missing physical connections. This physical connection to another person is vital in combating loneliness.
People who are lonely often keep their feelings to themselves. Whether they’re feeling ashamed or are hesitant to ask for help, lonely people aren’t reaching out to those who are in their lives. They are also at greater risk for physical illness, attempted suicide and drug or alcohol abuse.
How can you help?
- Be aware that every encounter matters.
Even a brief conversation can make a difference if it is sincere and you are consciously present (as opposed to superficial) to the person you are engaging with.
- Respect physical boundaries, but know that touch is essential to the well-being of all humans.
Shake hands, share a hug or plant a kiss on a cheek. If the person is open to it, take a pet for a visit or give a pet as a gift.
- Don’t fear that the person you reach out to will become a burden.
Intervening in a lonely person’s life encourages that person to broaden her support system rather than become dependent on you. A date on the calendar/something to look forward to can make a big difference.
- Check in, make a call, send a note or take a living gift (such as a plant).
Remind the person that they are being thought of and engage in quality exchanges.
- Use social media as a help, rather than a hindrance.
If the person is already using social media, or has an interest in using social media, make that an opportunity to connect. Be cautious not to make it the only form of interaction the lonely person has. Teaching someone how to Skype can be a huge antidote to loneliness.
Be aware that holidays are particularly vulnerable times for people who are lonely. Contact with someone who cares can be one of the best gifts a lonely person receives.
