Is the balance between your work life and the rest of your existence out of whack? Do you always hope to leave the office at 5 p.m., but find yourself continuing to work hours beyond that, when others have gone home?
We know that working overtime happens at times. But, if you answered yes to these questions and have been feeling stressed for a period of time, it may be time to speak with someone from your workplace’s employee assistance program, or another therapist, who can help you get your personal life back.
Here’s another tip: Set some goals, and put them in positive terms, says Kelly Clasgens, a licensed professional clinical counselor with the St. Elizabeth Employee Assistance Program.
“One of the strategies that we talk about is ‘State your goal in positive language,’” Clasgens said. “So instead of saying, ‘I’m not going to stay late at work,’ say something like, ‘I’m going to leave at 5 o’clock twice a week.’
“That way, No. 1, it’s measurable,” Clasgens added. “It’s very specific, and you’re talking about what you’re going to do ““ you’re not talking about what you’re not doing. So the chance of success is much more likely when you do those things.”
Also, the goals you set “have to be reasonable,” she said. “If you’re always leaving at 7 p.m., you’re not going to suddenly leave at 5 p.m. But if you start small, and literally make yourself do it or somehow create some accountability from family or a spouse, it’s more likely to work.”
Here’s another equally important point about leaving work at 5 p.m. on those two days: After you leave work, be sure to unplug yourself from work. Don’t let that work follow you home, Clasgens said.
“So even if you leave work at 5 p.m., let’s not log on and check email at 7 p.m.,” she said. “That’s still work.”
“Sometimes a strategy people use is setting some parameters around, ‘I’m not going to check email on the weekends,’ or ‘I’m not going to respond to email after a certain time,’ because you may be physically home with your family, but you’re not mentally engaged with your family.”
That can cause conflicts, because your family and friends see you there with them, and they expect you to be there ““ with them ““ rather than with your mind still at the workplace, she said.
