Most of the time, people who are workaholics don’t knowingly show up to speak to therapists for that reason, says Kelly Clasgens, a licensed professional clinical counselor with the St. Elizabeth Employee Assistance Program.
“What ends up happening, they will come in for a work-related conflict, or stress, or relationship problems,” she says. “And then you end up finding, ‘Ah! They work 70 hours a week and they’re not really taking time for themselves, and that’s leading to depression.’”
Here are some of the signs that Clasgens and others agree can indicate that someone is a workaholic.
- Working longer and later than your colleagues;
- Even outside of work, you find it difficult to “turn off”;
- Your body doesn’t feel well;
- Your relationships are strained and suffering; and
- You tie your self worth to your success at work.
Yet many workaholics don’t consider themselves workaholics. Instead, they put a much more positive spin on the “W” word.
“People don’t like that word,” Clasgens says, and she isn’t crazy about it, either. “It makes them defensive or uncomfortable. But they will talk about other things that are synonyms for that.”
They’ll say they’re working their way to the top, or are highly motivated. They’re providing for their families. All of that may be true, but when it’s becoming a problem, it’s probably time to speak to someone in your employee assistance program, or a therapist, before you burn out.
Many workaholics tend to work much later in the day than they had intended. They tell themselves, “I have to do this project for this amount of time, and then I’ll have some free time,” she says.
“Well, that really doesn’t ever happen. In the session, we’ll talk about stress and I say, ‘If you continue to take up all of these stresses, and all of these projects and tasks, then you’re creating the expectation that you will always do that. Then the downside to that is, if no one else other than you feels the stress, no one knows to step in.’”
Often, managers whose work-life balance is out of whack are not good at asking for help or delegating. They tell themselves it’s easier to do something themselves. Learning to delegate in a way that makes you comfortable and gets the work done is a good skill to have.
