Problems communicating are often one of the first signs a person has Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia.
The loved one affected might keep telling the same story over and over again, keep using a familiar word wrong or inventing a new word for a familiar object (like calling a watch a “hand clock”).
As the disease progresses, communications difficulties are only going to get worse. The Alzheimer’s Association advises taking a deep breath, and trying to remain calm and patient to help your loved one get the right words out.
Here’s their advice for communicating more effectively with someone who has Alzheimer’s:
- Be supportive: Don’t interrupt. Let the person know you’re listening and you want to help.
- Offer comfort: Let the person know it’s all right that he or she is having difficulty. Encourage them to remain calm and keep trying to finish their train of thought.
- Don’t criticize: Even if she gets the words wrong. Don’t try to correct or say she is wrong. Instead, just try to interpret what she’s saying and to “puzzle out” the real meaning.
- Don’t argue or disagree with what the person says: You’ll just get him agitated or frightened, which will make things worse.
- Offer a guess: If a person uses the wrong word (saying “bagel,” for example, when she might mean “coffee”) offer what you think might be the correct phrase and see if that helps.
- Try nonverbal communications: Encourage the person to point at what they want to indicate or find other ways to explain.
- Find a quiet spot: Somewhere free of distractions, including noise from TV, radio or traffic, can help the person with dementia better focus.
- Focus on feelings: Sometimes, the emotions behind the words are more important than the facts the person is trying to convey. Focus on the emotions, and you may be able to help them get to the point.
As time passes, new strategies will be necessary. When you’re dealing with someone with later-stage Alzheimer’s or dementia, try these tips:
- Identify yourself when you’re speaking to your loved one: He may not recognize you, even if you’re in the middle of a conversation or you’ve been with him for a while.
- Call your loved one by name: It helps to focus and orients the person to the moment.
- Speak slowly and calmly: Your tone is more important than your words.
- Wait patiently for a response: As the disease gets worse, people with dementia need more time to process conversations.
- Be ready to repeat yourself: It’s best to repeat yourself if you don’t get a response.
- Turn questions into statements: This way, you’re offering a solution. Instead of asking, “Do you need to use the bathroom?” say, “The bathroom is right here.”
- Avoid vague statements: At bath time, instead of saying, “Hop in,” tell the person, “Your shower is ready. Come in here.”
- Be positive: Instead of saying, “Don’t go there,” when they wander toward the wrong spot, guide them and say, “Come over here.”
- Stay calm: Your voice and tone may be the only thing he can focus on, not the content of what you’re saying. If you get angry or frustrated, your loved one will likely respond with anger or fear.
